New York or Bust
by beaglelover719
Summary: Hotch is considering a job and zip code change. JJ doesn't handle the impending changes very well. Can she and the rest of the team change his mind? AU, six-shot. Rated M for future chapters and language.
1. Chapter 1

**New York or Bust**

**Disclaimer – Not Mine**

**A/N – This is kind of a departure for me, much more drama than I usually do. This idea has been eating at me since the episode where the team came back from a case and they are all getting ready to go out and Hotch declines and says he's going to make a trip to NYC to see Beth. It just really bugged me. You just got home and you're rushing off to NYC, shouldn't Jack be your primary concern? And I can't imagine that Beth's job is as demanding as Hotch's so why wouldn't she be putting forth the effort to visit him? **

**Anyhow, this is obviously AU. JJ is single having married and divorce Will previously. **

Hotch was a bundle of nerves as he reached JJ's house. He had made some major life plans over the weekend and he was anxious to share them with his son and his friend. He knocked on the door but there was no response. He realized that they must have gone to the park. They did that frequently. He strolled through the quiet neighborhood and came upon the open field where he saw his slight co-worker and their two boys chasing a soccer ball. Ever vigilant JJ noticed him and waved. Breaking apart from the two boys she met him part way.

"Hey!" Her face was flushed from exercise. "You're back early. How was your trip?"

"Good." He nodded. "It was good." He rocked back on his heels waving at Henry and Jack as they yelled hello.

JJ frowned normally he would have raced out there and played with them. He was acting goofy. There was obviously something on his mind. "Are you sure? You're acting weird." He was jittery she realized.

"I, uh, I have some news." He gave her a slight smile, uncertain as to how she would view the news. "Good news, I think." But he wasn't sure JJ would view it that way. She wasn't Beth's biggest fan. Added to that was the absolute adoration she held for his son, she might not be happy with what he was going to tell her.

JJ felt her stomach drop. If he told her Beth was pregnant she was going to be sick. She took a deep breath and braced herself. "Okay."

"There is an open position for Director of the MPU in New York." He stated.

JJ frowned, why was he…? The feeling in her gut intensified. "So?" She looked to see that the boys were still chasing the black and white ball around the field. "Why would you want to go to New York?" She hissed.

It was Hotch's turn to frown. "Well that is where Beth lives."

"So, you are going to leave the BAU and move to a new job and new city for _Beth_?" She wanted to make sure there was no doubt about his intentions.

"I'm sensing some hostility here, JJ."

"Are we friends, Hotch? Are we the kind of friends that can be one hundred percent honest with one another or are we just acquaintances?" JJ asked, the fist on her hip and scowl on her face making him worry before answering.

Knowing very well he might not like what she was going to say he told her, "I leave my son with you on the weekends, JJ. We're good friends. I take it you have an opinion about this."

JJ looked again to make sure the boys weren't going to descend on them and overhear her comments. Assured that they were far enough away she turned back to Hotch. "I think you're a fucking moron."

Hotch's eye's popped open. "O-kay." He hadn't been expecting that. "Kind of harsh don't you think?"

"No." JJ stated, shaking her head. "You're going to uproot and move to another city for a woman. A woman who has no problem waiting for you to visit her. When you're the one with a young son and a job that takes you all over the country. How many times since she's moved has she made the trip down here?" She barely took a breath before continuing. "On top of that did you even consider what a move like that would do to Jack?"

"Of course I did." Hotch snapped, angry that she would even assume otherwise.

"Really because I know that Missing Persons does their fair amount of traveling, probably not as much as the BAU, but still. Where is Jack going to be when you're off working? Who is going to be taking care of him?"

"Beth will take care of him." They had discussed it over the weekend.

"This is the same Beth that can't be bothered to travel to DC for the weekend to see him because it conflicts with her super important museum job?" JJ sneered, incredulously. "What about Jess? How do you think Jack will do with the loss of seeing her and vice versa? What about me and Henry for that matter?"

Hotch scrubbed a hand over his face. If he were honest he would have to admit that he really hadn't thought of that.

"Didn't even think about that, did you?" She said, calling him out on it with disgust. "Maybe you need to start thinking with your brain and not your cock." She spun on her heel and walked towards the boys leaving him dumbfounded.

"JJ."

She didn't even slow her pace. She was close to breaking down.

"Hey." He caught her elbow and was surprised when she pulled away from him. "Why are you so pissed?"

"Because I think you're making a huge mistake for a woman that doesn't deserve you." She stated flatly. "Maybe you should consider what you're giving up versus what you're gaining."

"JJ, I love Beth." He watched as she paled at the pronouncement.

The words were like sharp little arrows to her heart.

"Hey, what are you two so deep in discussion about?" Will LaMontagne joined them on the field. It was obvious that whatever the pair was discussing it was pretty heavy. He might not be a profiler like the pair in front of him but he could read body language. He'd once made a study of JJ's body and it was clear that she was beyond pissed. "Am I early?" He asked lightly.

JJ broke eye contact with Hotch and turned to her ex-husband to smile weakly. "No, you're right on time." She sighed heavily and turned away from Hotch completely. "You're going to have a hungry sleepy boy tonight."

Will dropped a friendly arm across her shoulder. "Good because my boy has a hungry, sleepy daddy." He recognized the distress in his ex-wife's eyes and gave her a squeeze. Whatever was wrong, she was just barely holding it together.

Hotch watched the byplay curiously. He and Haley never managed to get to this level of friendship after they split. While it was never completely acrimonious, they never had the laid back relationship that JJ and Will seemed to maintain with relatively little ease.

With the arrival of Will the boys seemed to recognize that their time at the park was at an end. They both came charging towards their parents both made a beeline towards JJ.

"It's like we're not even here." Will commented laughingly to Hotch.

Hotch however was transfixed by the scene in front of him. He had always been his son's favorite person and now it appeared that role had been taken over by the slight blonde whose waist he was hanging on to. He was startled to realize that they were all looking at him. "I'm sorry, did you say something, son?"

Jack giggled. "I just asked if I was going to get to stay with JJ next weekend too."

"Oh." Hotch looked over at JJ but she wouldn't meet his eyes. "I was thinking maybe you would want to come to New York with me." He told his son.

Jack frowned and looked at him suspiciously. "Why?"

Hotch frowned. Six months ago the little boy would have been jubilant to have been asked to travel with his dad. "I thought you'd like to go and visit Beth, maybe check out some of the stuff New York has to offer. There are a lot of neat places to visit."

"I do neat stuff with JJ and Henry." His son informed him stiffly.

Hotch watched as a small smile graced JJ's lips. "Sure, I know you do, but wouldn't you like to see where Beth lives?" He asked.

"Not really." His little boy shrugged.

Deciding to test the waters Hotch said. "There is a job up in New York that I've been thinking about. It would mean moving up there, maybe with Beth…" He broke off as four sets of eyes regarded him. Will's were curious but the others were openly hostile.

"No." His son's expression was openly defiant.

Hotch looked down at the mutinous expression on his son's face.

"You can move to New York, I'll live with Aunt Jess or JJ, you can visit me on the weekend." Jack bluntly told his father.

"You'll go where I go." Hotch told his son in a tone that brooked no argument.

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"Is that the part where Henry kicked you?" Rossi laughed.

"Yeah, then his little spitfire of a mother told him she wished he could have aimed higher." Hotch took a sip of the scotch he'd been nursing since Dave mysteriously appeared at his home earlier.

"You do know that JJ is extremely fond of Jack and vice versa?"

Hotch glanced at the stairs wondering if his little boy were asleep yet. He'd gone from being his hero to having his son scream that he hated him.

"And, if I'm playing devil's advocate," Dave continued, "I'd have to agree that JJ made some good points."

"You think I'm thinking with my cock too?" Hotch asked dryly.

Rossi laughed. "I still can't believe our little Jen was so feisty as to tell you that."

"She also called me a moron." He sulked, still upset that she was supportive of his decision. She'd always championed him before.

"You do realize that she's in love with you, right?" Dave asked, and had the pleasure of watching him spew his scotch all over the place. "Oh, man, you are a fucking moron. Seriously, this is a woman that _willing _watches your son for you almost every weekend."

"He keeps Henry company." Hotch replied naively.

Dave stared at him for a moment. "Oh wow." The man really was clueless. "Okay, let's do one hurdle at a time." Dave said while shaking his head. "You don't want to join MPU."

Hotch raised a brow. "I don't?"

"No, you don't. And it pisses me off that you would even consider leaving the BAU. You _are_ the BAU and I'm telling you right now that if you leave it, you'll hate it. You will live to regret it. You put too much of yourself into this Unit and this team to just walk away from it." He let Hotch digest that for a minute. "Whose idea was your relocating to New York?"

"It was mutual, it came up in conversation." Admitting that it was one of the ideas Beth thought would help their relationship wouldn't win her any points.

"Hotch I've known you over twenty years. I talk to you almost every day. You've never once mentioned the idea of relocating." Rossi told him.

"Is it wrong to want to live with the woman I'm in a relationship with?"

Rossi shook his head. "Absolutely not. However, I have to agree with JJ, it does seem like you're the only one that's making any effort in this relationship."

"Beth is busy. It's hard for her to get away on the weekend." Hotch reasoned.

Dave nodded. "Fair enough, has she ever come down during the week? We have down time during the week, we don't always travel." He pointed out. "Almost like, I'm sure she doesn't have to work every weekend, because if she did your traveling up there to visit her would be pointless."

"It's just easier." Hotch mumbled. "She's more comfortable on her turf."

"She's more comfortable calling the shots." His friend pointed out. "Relationships are supposed to be give and take."

"I love her Dave. I want to make her happy." Hotch sighed, angry that he had to justify his desire to move.

"And does she love you?"

"Yes." Hotch answered without hesitation.

"Really? Because all I see is you dancing to her tune." Dave argued. "Do me a favor. Before you make the commitment to switch departments and uproot your son from everyone he knows and loves, give it a month." He raised his hand when Hotch started to speak. "And during that month don't travel to New York. Have Beth come to DC."

"You think the only way to measure her love for me is if she is willing to travel here for me?" Hotch scoffed.

"I just want to see if she's going to put forth any effort for you. I know that you think it's ridiculous but do it for me, do it for your team, and most importantly do it for your son. You're willing to change your life for this woman and I don't think she's willing to make the same sacrifices for you. I think she's invested in this relationship as long as she's the one that doesn't have to give anything up."

"That's absurd." Hotch growled.

"Thirty days, Aaron."

"Daddy?"

Hotch jumped at the sound of the little voice coming to him from the stairs. He hadn't heard his approach. "Hey son." He was relieved that the boy was speaking to him. He hadn't since they left the park.

"Can I call JJ?" He asked hesitantly. Calling JJ had become a nightly ritual.

Hotch hesitated, he wasn't sure JJ would want to hear from him. She hadn't even spared a glance at him as she left the park. She managed to console his son after he told Hotch that he hated him and burst into tears. Hotch had to watch as she calmed Jack, dried his tears, and kissed his forehead. The decision was taken out of his hands when his phone lit up. "Hey JJ, I was just going to …"

JJ didn't engage in any niceties or small talk, she got directly to the point. "May I please speak to Jack?"

"Oh. Yeah. Right." He frowned slightly before trying to arrange his grimace into a smile as he held the device out to his son. "JJ is on the phone for you." The words were barely out of his mouth when the phone was swiped from his hands and held up to his son's ear. He watched and listened intently trying to overhear his son's side of the conversation but all he managed to capture was the end. "I love you too, JJ." Hotch caught the phone as his son launched it at him before turning to go back up the stairs.

"Aren't you going to say goodnight to me and Dave?" Hotch asked wistfully.

"Night Uncle Dave." The young boy didn't even turn around.

"Night buddy." Dave sighed at the sight of the heart stricken man in front of him. It was going to be a long month.

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**New York or Bust Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

Monday morning…

JJ walked in to the office without her normal enthusiasm. She considered calling out but that would have been cowardly. She had managed to survive being in love with a man who didn't even know she existed outside of work and caring for his son this long. She would continue like normal until he was gone, then she could have a mini breakdown and get over it.

"Wow. Who died?" Morgan asked as she sank into the seat across from him.

JJ's eyes flew up to his having only heard the last word out of his mouth. "Who died?"

"Just an expression, Jay." He said, puzzled. "You look like you lost your best friend."

"Oh." She dropped her purse into her drawer. "No. I'm fine." The heavy sigh that left her when she settled into her chair belied her words.

Morgan shared a look with Reid. "How was your weekend? Oh, that reminds me," He continued, before she could respond, "The firehouse by me is having an Open House this weekend. They are giving rides on the fire engine and are having games and food, I thought if you had the boys this weekend we could take them. They'd get a kick out of it, you know…." He broke off when he noticed that his coworker had a big lone tear rolling down her cheek. "Jay?" He stood up as she jumped up. "What's wrong? Is Henry?"

"Henry's fine." She choked out. "I'm sorry, I'll be…" She turned and sprinted from the bullpen.

"What the hell was that?" Morgan worried, looking at Reid and Prentiss who had just walked in as JJ raced off.

"Maybe if you answered your phone," Prentiss told him pointedly, "You'd know what was going on."

Morgan pulled his phone from the holster on his hip and sighed. "Shit. The damn thing is dead again." He flung it on his desk and turned to Prentiss. "What's going on?"

Emily looked up and noticed that Hotch was already ensconced in his office with the door closed. Her voice dropped low. "Hotch told her that he's moving to New York."

Both men were visibly shaken by the news. "What?" Reid looked up at the office. "What about the BAU?"

Emily shrugged she didn't have any insight into the whys of Hotch's decision, other than speculation. "Apparently there is an opening for a Director's position at the MPU that he's either applied for or is going to apply for." That knowledge left them all speechless.

"You're shitting me." Morgan stood staring up at his bosses' office. Hotch moving on could essentially mean a good thing for him but the actual reality was that he didn't want the man to leave. It took a full second for him to realize JJ's reaction. "Aw, shit."

"She's extremely fond of Jack." Reid pointed out needlessly.

"Yeah." Morgan agreed. "Jack." He shared a look with Emily. Everyone in the office, with the exception of Hotch maybe, knew that Jack wasn't the only Hotchner JJ was hung up on.

"No kidding." With another glance up to their leaders office to make sure the man hadn't moved Emily stated lowly. "Why wouldn't she be? She's the one that spends the most time with him outside of Jessica."

At first Derek didn't respond, it was true, JJ did spend a lot of time with the young boy, but so did their leader. "That's not fair, Em. You know that Hotch loves Jack." He argued.

Emily was focused on the hallway where JJ had disappeared so she didn't realize that Hotch had ventured out of his office and was on the open hallway directly above her. "Really? How can you tell? He practically dumps him with JJ every weekend or chance he gets to race up to New York."

Hotch overheard the comment and blanched. Is that what his coworkers thought? Christ is that what Jack thought?

"That's a little harsh, it's hardly every weekend. And JJ was the one that initiated the practice he's not exactly taking advantage of her."

"Really?" Emily growled. "Because the last time I checked JJ wasn't Jack Hotchner's mother. Yet Hotch still gives her temporary custody every chance he can so he can fly up to New York and get laid." If they were going to pick sides it was very clear whose side Emily was on.

"It's not nice to eavesdrop." Rossi said, coming to stand alongside Hotch. "You often overhear things you rather wished you didn't."

"Obviously." Hotch said, with a touch of rancor. "For instance, I didn't realize that my team thought I was such a dick."

"No." Rossi scoffed. "They just think you're thinking with it." He joked, slapping his back.

"Thanks, that's so much better."

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The morning meeting went fabulously. JJ refused to meet his eyes and sat as far away from him as possible while sitting as close to the door as she could. Emily was borderline hostile and glared at him the entire morning. Garcia looked at him like he just kicked her puppy and managed to weep through the duration of the meeting. Reid, who didn't like to take sides, sat nervously giving alternating pleading glances between both JJ and Hotch, much like the child of divorcing parents. Derek was Hotch's only visible ally and Rossi was taking far too much glee in the entire situation to be of any help.

At the end of the meeting Hotch cleared his throat. "Um, as I know that you are all aware," He paused and glanced at JJ, "I have decided to interview for a position with the MPU. They are still in the interview process and I probably won't know anything for a while yet." The only sound in the room was Garcia's sniffling. "It's a really good opportunity. Advancement." He paused. "Who knows, I may decide it's not the job for me after I interview." At this point rather than making eye contact with the team he was looking directly at JJ. She still wouldn't give him the satisfaction of looking back. "Well, I guess that's it." The words were barely out of his mouth when she gathered up her notebook and fled the room.

"Let me know if you need help packing." Emily growled, and Hotch was fairly certain she showed him her teeth.

"Well I don't like it." Garcia announced. "I don't like it at all, what does New York have that we don't have down here?" She slammed out of the room.

Reid offered Hotch a slight smile. "I'm sure you've considered all the possibilities and concluded that this is the best thing for you." He held out his hand. "I'm going to miss you Hotch."

He stared at Reid's hand for a second before shaking it. "Well, like I said, I won't know for a while yet."

"They would be foolish not to snap you up." The young man told him before leaving the conference room as well.

His biggest surprise came from his only supporter. "Hotch, I love and respect you, I do, but I think you're making a mistake." Derek shook his head. "This team, this job, we define you. And while I'm sure Beth is a nice woman, well, she's no JJ." Having said his peace he slapped the dumbfounded man on his shoulder and left the room.

Rossi chuckled at Hotch's expression. "I have to admit. I'm a little shocked myself. Apparently you really are the only one of the team that was clueless about JJ's feelings."

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The rest of Hotch's day continued in that same vein. Erin Strauss paid him a visit to tell him that she fully supported his decision to move to MPU. She also told him that she'd placed a phone call personally to offer her recommendations.

"I have to admit that I am surprised though." The woman told him. "You love this job, and your team. What made you decide to look elsewhere?"

Both the statement and the question threw him. What the hell was he doing? What had he been thinking? He looked at his supervisor. "Maybe it was time for a change." It came out sounding more like a question than a statement.

Strauss pursed her lips. "There was a time when I would have been thrilled at the thought of your leaving." She told him honestly.

"I'm aware." Hotch responded dryly.

"I have to be honest and admit that I felt threatened by you." She gave a self-deprecating grin. "Perhaps I still am a bit, I demand loyalty and respect and you are given it openly and easily. It took me a while to come to terms with that. Your team will be devastated by your leaving." She told him sincerely.

Her words took him by surprise. "They'll be fine."

Strauss nodded. "They will continue to perform and I'm sure they will manage to produce stellar results, as usual, but they will miss you and your leadership."

About as much as he would miss them he thought. "Thank you."

The morning had done nothing but make him question the decision he'd been so eager to act on the previous day. He needed to hear a friendly voice. With that in mind he placed a call to Beth. "Hey." He said when she answered the phone.

"Aaron. How are you?" He heard her shuffling around. "This is a nice surprise, I usually don't hear from you during the day. How excited was Jack?"

"He wasn't." Hotch said with frustration.

"Well did you tell him about all the fun he's going to have in New York?" She asked.

He could still picture his son's angry face. The little boy was still not speaking to him any more than absolutely necessary. "He's not interested in what's in New York he's only concerned with what's here in Virginia."

She gave a little laugh. "Well what is that supposed to mean?"

"He doesn't want to leave his Aunt Jess, or Henry and JJ, not to mention…"

"I understand he will miss his Aunt Jess but I'm not sure why he's worried about missing JJ or Henry, it's not like they're his family." She felt necessary to point out.

"He spends a lot of time with them." He kept picturing JJ calming Jack the previous evening. How loving and sweet she'd been to him, and how Jack responded to her.

Beth let out an irritated sigh. "Aaron, you're Jack's father, you're the one that makes the decisions. He'll get over it in time."

He was surprised by her attitude and her lack of sympathy. "I don't want my son to get over it in time Beth. I want him to be happy about it."

"Kids are far more resilient than you think, Aaron, he'll be fine."

"Normally I would agree with you, but Jack has already had to deal with far more than normal kids." Hotch replied stiffly.

"So what are you saying? That you've already changed your mind?"

"No, I didn't say that." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "But I do think I need to slow down the timeline."

"What does that mean exactly?" She snapped. "I thought we decided that having just a weekend relationship was becoming too hard. Which is why we decided you should move."

"I haven't said that I'm not going to move Beth, but I need to get some stuff in order and that means that I won't be traveling to New York for a while." He couldn't believe he was going to go along with Rossi's plan. He hadn't intended to but her attitude pissed him off. "Maybe you could come this weekend and get reacquainted with Jack?" It was a simple request. And it took her approximately two seconds to reject it.

"Aaron you know that my job isn't flexible." She responded hesitantly.

The comment made him angry and he recalled JJ's frustration over the fact that Beth was seemingly unwilling to travel to DC and allowed Hotch to do all the traveling. "And mine is?"

Her sigh was audible. "No, no, of course not. I didn't say that." Her tone was wrought with frustration they were both feeling.

"You know, since you've moved to New York you haven't managed to make a trip to DC once."

"That can't be right." She disputed before quickly changing the subject. "I don't like that we're fighting. I don't want to fight with you." Her voice became lower, intimate. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be dismissive of Jack's feelings but I miss you; I want to be with you."

Hotch blew out a breath. "I'm sorry too, I'm just frustrated. I don't mean to take it out on you."

"We'll figure it out." She promised.

They ended the call without any plans to see one another in the near future and with Hotch's eyes a little bit wider than they had been.

**Thanks for reading! Thank you for the reviews – I appreciate them so much, it's nice to know what folks are thinking and what I'm writing! And thank you to all the folks that are following the story.**


	3. Chapter 3

**New York Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N – Sorry meant to have this up earlier…**

One week later…

"JJ, can I see you please?" Hotch stood outside of his office overlooking the bullpen. It'd been a week since she'd spoken to him. It was driving him nuts. He realized that he missed her horribly. Jack he'd made headway with but JJ remained remote.

JJ shared a glance with Emily and stood. "Sure." She walked towards his office with little enthusiasm. When she arrived at the office she knocked briskly to announce her presence. Hotch was seated at his desk and waved her in.

"Have a seat." He offered a small smile but even after a week she refused to meet his eyes. He sighed, she was sitting in front of him and he still missed her. "So, have you decided that we're no longer friends?"

"No, lately I question whether we ever really were." She replied calmly.

"Damn it, JJ." He growled. "This is ridiculous."

"Did you have something work related that you needed to discuss with me? Because I have an inbox full of consults." She told him.

"Jack is still ignoring me too. He's not quite as good as you are at it, I think he forgets that he hates me and every so often he lets me in. It was going okay last night until I mentioned Beth." He waited for a reaction and got nothing. "You know, he used to like her. I'm not sure when that changed. She thinks you're to blame." He said, trying to bait her but still nothing. "I'm dying here, JJ, this isn't fair, we used to be the best of friends now you don't even want to talk to me. I miss my friend."

She finally looked at him and he was surprised by the bleakness in her eyes. "You are the one that made the decision to move to New York. You didn't even so much as hint that you were even considering it. And you know why? Because you weren't, it was something that Beth came up with and now you are so worried about failing in another relationship you're willing to jump through any of the hoops she throws at you."

It angered him that she was partially right. Part of his failure with Haley was due to the fact that he stopped putting any effort into the relationship. "That's not fair, JJ."

"No, Hotch, what's not fair is the fact that you would so willingly relocate your son from the stability that he has come to rely on to move to another city for a woman you've been dating what, sporadically at best, a year."

She stood, needing to get out of there before she did something really embarrassing like cry. "Did you have anything that involves my job that you wanted to talk to me about because if not I don't think we have anything to say to one another."

"Is this because you're jealous?" He blurted, needing to test what both Morgan and Rossi had intimated, and watched as the color left her face.

Her eyes met his hotly. "Don't flatter yourself. I've come to realize over the last couple of days that maybe you're not the man that I thought you were." She opened the door and walked past Rossi who'd been attempting to eavesdrop.

"That looks like that went well." He mumbled strolling into Hotch's office.

Hotch sat frowning at his desk. "What the hell did _that_ mean? The man she thought I was? You know, I think you and Morgan were wrong. JJ…well, she's not interested in me that way." He looked at Dave questioningly. "Seriously, what the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't even understand half of what she said." His attempts to get JJ to talk to him had backfired painfully, he was pretty sure he made it worse and he had no idea how to fix it.

Rossi glanced over at the man he respected more than any other of his acquaintance and wondered how it was that he was so dense when it came to the fair sex. "Oh Hotch." He sighed loudly.

Hotch looked at him a little shell shocked, he was not handling JJ's defection well.

"Aaron, do you even want to move to New York?" Rossi asked as Hotch looked up at him blankly. "It's a simple question." Rossi sighed. "I know that you may not believe this, or I should say, you may not want to believe this, but it's entirely possible that Beth is not the right woman for you. You're putting a lot of effort into a relationship that might not be right for you."

A week ago he would have argued that point. Now he wasn't so sure.

"You need to really step back and consider what you're doing here, Aaron. This move is going to seriously impact a lot of people. The team will be sad but they'll get over it. Jess and Henry are going to miss Jack horribly and he them. JJ, well…you see how she's reacting."

A muscle twitched on the side of Hotch's cheek.

"Look, I get that you didn't intentionally set out to hurt JJ. I understand that you didn't realize that she had feelings for you that ran a little deeper than friendship. Honestly I don't know how you could have missed the fact that she idolizes you but that's neither here nor there." Rossi shrugged, "You know what? Actually this is probably good for JJ." At Hotch's curious glance he continued. "I think she always felt that you were interested in her too that one day something was going to happen to make you realize it. Now she'll be able to move on."

Hotch wasn't sure what to make of the little flutter of fear at that statement. He was still struggling with the way she looked at him, so devoid of the warmth that was usually directed at him. He knew that last bit of Rossi's speech was to try to get a reaction out of him but he was just numb. "I don't know what you want me to do." He said honestly.

"Get your house in order. Speak to your son. Speak to your sister-in-law. Pull your head out of your ass and fix your relationship with JJ. Above everything she is your friend, you need to remind her of that."

"Yeah, I don't see that last one happening." Hotch grumbled.

"Don't be an ass. She'll forgive you most anything." Rossi winked. "Keep that _most_ part in mind."

"I hate that she's hurt." He admitted softly. "I hate that I'm the one that hurt her."

"Then fix it." Dave ordered, before asking. "How'd your weekend go?"

Hotch shrugged, it sucked. He missed hanging out with JJ and Henry. He and Jack had an okay weekend but it was clear that they both missed the two people they usually spent time with. "It was alright. Jack helped me clean house, we went to see Monsters University. He was upset, he wanted to take Henry but JJ had other plans." He looked at Rossi sharply. "Do you think she blew me off because she's mad at me? She won't even answer when I call, she hands the phone to Henry." Having an adorable four year old mad at you wasn't any better.

Rossi frowned at him. "She'd blow you off, but she wouldn't blow off Jack no matter how angry she was at you." He pointed out.

Hotch slumped at his desk. "Yeah, that's what I figured. She dropped Jack off cookies while we were gone. She wrote him a note. He wouldn't let me read it." He remembered the way his son clung to the paper. "He called her and whispered on the phone with her for ten minutes." And Hotch had been embarrassingly jealous to be left out.

"So Beth didn't come down?" Rossi asked, already knowing the answer.

Hotch gave a wry smile. "You know that she didn't." She called him contrite on Friday full of apologies. She said that she was going to try to come on Tuesday. She'd already left him a voicemail that Tuesday wasn't going to be possible either. Couldn't he just sneak away? Even for a day trip.

"How does that make you feel?"

"Well, Freud, it kind of pisses me off." He stood and walked over to the windows looking down on the bullpen and announced. "It also kind of worries me that I'm missing JJ a little more than I am Beth."

Rossi grinned at the admission. "And how does that make you feel?"

Hotch turned and glared at him. "Like I want to hit something. Your being here is a bonus."

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The knock on the door had taken her by surprise. She was home alone as Henry was spending the night with his dad. She looked through the peephole and frowned. "Hey Dave, what's up?"

"Can I talk to you?" He asked.

"Sure." She stepped out of the threshold to allow him entrance into her home. "What's this about?"

He smiled, "Oh, sweetheart, you know what it's about."

She frowned. "I don't want to talk about your asshole friend."

"Well kiddo, I'm sorry, but we're going to." He grabbed hold of her hand. "For someone who is so clearly astute in all things Aaron Hotchner you're playing this one wrong." He led them into her kitchen and sat her down at the table then moved to the stove to put the kettle on.

JJ just raised a brow at his impudence.

"You so clearly see that this thing with Beth is only temporary."

She _had_ thought it would have been over by now. "Sure. Except now he's talking about relocating to be near her. He's in love with her." The comment still turned her stomach.

"Is he really? Other than making a statement that he was going to interview with Missing Persons he hasn't done anything. He hasn't even attempted to connect with my real estate agent." Rossi commented, taking down two cups from the cupboard. "Nor has he made an appointment with MPU, even though they have been desperately trying to connect with him."

"We did have a case last week." JJ automatically said in his defense.

"Please." Rossi scoffed. "He hasn't been so busy that he could not fit in a fifteen minute phone call."

JJ agreed, but they both knew the truth. "The job is as good as his. You know that as well as I do, so does Hotch."

Rossi looked at the dejected woman in front of him. "You've been so smart up to now. You need to pull it together."

JJ looked at him oddly. "Have you been drinking?"

"No but honestly the two of you are driving me to it." He sighed. "Look I get that you couldn't just announce to Hotch that you were in love with him. But you might not have been so good at hiding that fact from him."

"Oh, you think I should have told him when he dropped Jack off with me so he could go have a sex filled weekend with Beth? Offered my services instead?" She was beyond even trying to deny her feeling for the man.

Rossi chuckled at her tone. "That would have been something. Probably would have worked too."

JJ snorted. "Yeah, sure."

"JJ, this is Hotch we're talking about. Before Beth his only serious girlfriend was Haley. He's not really very sharp when it comes to women or relationships. And while I think he knew that you had a little crush on him, I don't think he thought it was really anything you would have ever acted on. You're both too much alike on that front. You're not just going to give up without a fight are you?"

JJ's jaw dropped. "What do you mean? What did you do, Dave?"

He smiled as he dropped two tea bags into their cups and poured the hot water. "He misses you JJ. He's confused. He doesn't want to hurt anyone." He looked at her pointedly. "JJ, he didn't know that this would hurt you so badly. He honestly didn't know how you felt about him."

"He's still an asshole." She grumbled as he sat the cup in front of her.

Rossi smiled at her and gave her a minute to compose herself. "I need for you to support him, like you've always done, rather than pull away from him." He said softly.

JJ shook her head. "I can't do that." She said over the lump in her throat.

"Yes, you can." He assured her. He reached over and grabbed her hand. "He needs to see the same loving, supportive JJ that he's worked with the last eight years, he needs to see that you love him enough to want him to be happy, even if it's not with you."

"Well, that would be a lie. I don't want him to be happy with someone else." She said heatedly.

"JJ until today Hotch didn't realize that you really were in love with him. I think he realized that you held him in a high regard, but he never considered that you'd be willing to let him see you naked."

JJ snorted.

Rossi shrugged. "If you were both a little less moral like me neither of you would have tried to fight the feelings that you have for one another and you'd have already crawled in bed together."

"Dave, Hotch obviously sees me like a sister or something." JJ bit her lip.

"Trust me, he doesn't. You have a big neon do not touch, against the rules sign hanging over you. But, it's killing him that you are disappointed and angry with him. He realizes that he misses you more, seeing you daily, then he misses Beth. This is forcing him to face some hard reality.

"So what does that mean?"

"It means tomorrow you're going to walk into his office and apologize for your behavior…"

"The hell I will." JJ interrupted.

"You're going to apologize and tell him that you can't imagine life without him and Jack, because you love Jack." He watched her eyes fill with tears. "Yeah, make sure you do that tomorrow. But then tell the stupid shit that if moving to New York is what he really wants you'll support him."

"But?"

The older man sighed. "JJ he's already doubting that his feelings for Beth are as strong as he thought. On one hand is a woman that can't be bothered to make a trip to DC to see him when he's the one with a job that flies him all over the country and a small boy. Then there's you, a woman that has been supportive of him in so many ways over the year, who is continuing to be supportive and is also as madly in love with his son as his son is with her."

"Huh." It surprised her that his logic actually made pretty good sense.

Rossi grinned. "I'm not just another pretty face, kiddo. Hang in there. Hotch isn't going anywhere."

**Thanks for reading! A big thanks for those of you who review, favor and/or follow. It is greatly appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

**New York Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N – JJ tries to take Rossi's advice. Hotch continues to be stupid until he gets advice from an unlikely source…**

Eleven days later….

JJ never got the opportunity to go in and speak to Hotch like Rossi suggested because they had been called to Florida to assist on a serial rapist case. She behaved professionally the entire trip. She performed the duties requested of her and treated Hotch with the respect he had earned as the leader of their team but she didn't make any overtures to repair their friendship.

The team resolved the case late Wednesday and returned to the DC metropolitan area on Thursday evening. JJ finally decided she'd had enough. She couldn't take it any longer. She missed Jack horribly. She hadn't seen him in almost three weeks. So the next morning she arrived at work early. She still wasn't sure that she'd be able to apologize but she wanted to see Jack and she was willing to do whatever was necessary to make amends with his asshat of a father to make it happen.

The knock on his office door startled him. He wasn't used to anyone being in the office with him so early. His heart gave a hard knock when he realized who it was at his door. "JJ?"

The blonde hovered at the opening. "Do you have a minute?" She asked softly.

"Sure. Absolutely." He was pleased to see her. He'd wanted to approach her several times but he just wasn't sure how to. The fact that she was making the effort to speak to him pleased him beyond belief. He pushed the files he was perusing forward on his desk. "What can I do for you, JJ?" He gestured for her to take a seat.

JJ wrung her hands together. "Listen, Aar…Hotch I know that I said some pretty harsh things."

"You did." He agreed; he was willing to let that go.

"Yeah, I did." She looked at him and felt her resolve weaken, she'd come with the intent of working out their issues. "I, uh, I…" She closed her eyes and sighed. "Well, darn it, I still think them. But I'm sorry that I said them and they affected our friendship."

"You are the one that decided you no longer want to be my friend." He reminded her stiffly, needing to point out it was she that had decided to put some space between them. He hadn't stayed away from her.

JJ let out a loud huff as she sat in the seat in front of his desk. "Hotch, I don't know how to get over this. I can't wrap my brain around the fact that you are just going to pick up and move and take Jack away from me."

He couldn't help the little smile that formed over her indignation. "JJ, Jack is my son it stands to reason that I would want him to move with me."

"But." She frowned and tried to regroup. "I need to see Jack. We need to see Jack. He's been so integrated in our lives that we're going through withdrawal." She bit her bottom lip. "Henry misses him almost as much as I do."

Hotch could see she was struggling not to cry. "JJ I'm not keeping Jack from you. You've kept him at arms-length yourself because you didn't want to associate with me." He watched as the realization of what she'd done crossed her face.

A tear ran down her cheek unheeded. "I can't pretend to be happy for you. I thought I could. I thought I could be okay with it but I can't act like your moving is a good idea and be supportive of it. All your moving means to me is you're removing Jack from my life." A little sob of pain escaped. "You have to know how much both Henry and I love him. And you." She admitted softly. "I considered you one of my best friends but I'm so mad at you right now that it hurts to look at you." She completely failed to do what Rossi had asked.

He wasn't sure what to make of her admission. "Well it hurts me that you can't support me. That you aren't happy for me." He said gruffly. Though, if he were honest he'd admit that he was already having serious doubt about his decision.

She smiled softly at him while she wiped a tear from her cheek. "I wish I could be happy for you. I really wish that I thought this was going to be an amazing move for you and that you would flourish both personally and professionally but the truth is I don't. You'll be okay professionally but you won't find Missing Persons as satisfying as you do the BAU." She paused and faced him fully. "And your relationship with Beth will deteriorate as soon as the two of you really spend any time together."

Even though he'd come to some of the same conclusions himself it angered him slightly that she nailed it so completely. "What exactly are you basing that supposition on?"

JJ shrugged. "What exactly do you have in common other than sex? Don't get me wrong, sex is great but it's not enough to build a relationship on. If Beth would have remained in the area your relationship would have run out of steam and this wouldn't be happening. She doesn't really know you Aaron." Not like JJ did.

Her analogy infuriated him. "Why? Is that what happened with you and Will?" The words were out of his mouth as soon as the thought entered his mind.

JJ stood abruptly, hurt etched on her face. The end of her relationship with Will had come after a lot of talk and consideration. They both wanted to remain friends and knew that couldn't be accomplished if they remained married.

Hotch jumped up as well. "God, JJ, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He hadn't. He considered both Will and JJ friends and was envious that they remained friendly and respectful during the demise of their relationship. "I promise you, I was just lashing out at you. Not that that is any better."

JJ didn't meet his eyes as she walked to the door. "It's fine, it doesn't matter. Apparently we both say mean things. Can I please see Jack?"

He realized she wasn't going to be receptive to an apology so soon. So he granted her the one thing she asked. "Sure." He watched dejectedly as she left his office. He had been so pathetically hopeful when she poked her head in the door earlier.

Her words continued to eat at him all day. As did his comment. By noon he'd made a personal call to Will and apologized.

"You realize that I wasn't offended until you called me, right?" Will had been surprised both by the call and the admission.

Hotch sighed. "Yeah. It's just. I didn't mean it, she just pissed me off so bad I wanted to strike back at her."

"Hotch this is a little weird for me, why are you apologizing to me and not JJ?"

"She's back to not even looking at me." He mumbled.

Her ex sighed. "You know, you sound about as pathetic as JJ. Has it occurred to her that you miss her as much as she misses you?"

It had, he just didn't know what to do about it. "Yeah, but I don't know what to do about it."

"Maybe you should give it some thought. If you miss her as bad as you do when you work in the same office and see her daily what do you think is going to happen when you move to another city?" Will asked him curiously.

"Originally I thought that we'd still talk on the phone and see each other occasionally." He'd been optimistically naïve that his life would continue in much the same vein as it always had. He realized now that he'd made some very big tactical errors. Moving to New York had been the least of them.

"Really?" Will scoffed. "Do you honestly think that Beth is going to let that happen?"

"Why does everyone think Beth is so bad?" Hotch asked, seriously perplexed by why everyone thought she was evil.

"Honestly I only know what I hear from JJ and you're right, she is probably a little biased. But I can tell you as having been that other person in the relationship. She's going to want you to focus on the two of you, not your old friends."

He knew that Will was probably right in his assessment. "Are you saying you asked JJ to give us up?"

Will snorted. "Only about a dozen times until I finally realized that the BAU and being around all of you contributed greatly to JJ's happiness."

Going for broke Hotch asked, "Can I ask why you divorced?" He wondered frequently but had never had the nerve to ask JJ.

Will sighed heavily on the other end of the line. "I don't know, Hotch, we were stuck. We loved one another, but we weren't in love with one another. We want different things from life. We are great friends and great co-parents. And I hate to tell you this but JJ was right. The sex, when we had it, was great, but it really isn't enough to sustain a relationship."

"Huh."

Will let him absorb that for a minute. "Can I ask _you_ something?"

Hotch sighed. "Sure."

"Have you ever been honest with _yourself_ about how you feel about JJ?"

Hotch let out a long breath wondering if the man had a six sense that he often envisioned his ex-wife naked. "I'm not sure what you mean." He hedged.

Will laughed. "I thought so. You know, I'm not sure you should even be considering moving in with one woman when you have feelings for another. Unless you mistakenly thought that would help you get rid of them?"

Still avoiding answering the question he asked instead. "Let me guess, you think I'm making a mistake too?"

"Well, that's not what I said exactly, but yeah, I do." He paused then told him bluntly. "Moving in with Beth isn't going to change how you feel about JJ." When Hotch didn't say anything Will spoke up again. "Hotch? I think maybe you need to admit to yourself that you're in love with JJ. You have been for a long time. Probably as long as she's been in love with you."

Hotch wasn't sure how to respond to that. "You're a good guy Will. I am truly sorry it didn't work out for you and JJ."

Will chuckled again knowing he wasn't going to get anything out of him and let the subject drop. "Hotch, go and make up with JJ. Do it before it's too late." He advised.

The idea of it being too late spurred him into action. "Can I pick up Henry tonight?" Hotch asked abruptly. "So I can bring Jack over to see JJ?" He paused. "She told me that she really misses him."

"Sure, but you do realize you are seriously pathetic for using the kids to get back in her good graces?" Will scoffed.

Hotch sighed. "I just need them to get me through the door." Then he was prepared to grovel.

But before he could worry about that he had another phone call to make. Even knowing that this call would not be well received he was completely calm as he picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number.

Calling Will had probably been unorthodox but it was the smartest thing he'd done in a long while.

CMCMCMCM

JJ eyed him distastefully when she opened the door to her home but when Jack, then Henry, popped up she let out a squeal and fell to her knees. Both boys flew into her arms. Hotch couldn't help but smile as she kissed his son's entire face. All the while telling him how much she'd missed him and loved him.

"We were hoping that we could talk you in to having pizza with us." Hotch told her after they had collapsed in a tangle of happy limbs. "Or whatever you want for dinner." His eyes pleaded with her.

JJ was quick enough to recognize it for the olive branch it was. "Do you guys want pizza?" She asked the boys on her lap.

Hotch found himself watching JJ closely as the night progressed. From the way that she listened intently when either of the boys spoke to her. To the way that she would brush their hair from their eyes. He was surprised by the fact that his son would reach out and hold her hand unconsciously, or hug her randomly and she would light up at either gesture. He also noticed how Henry hung on every word that Jack said and Jack would do anything to make the younger boy laugh.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked after watching him watch them.

"What?" Her question had startled him.

"You look kind of sad, I asked if you were okay." She repeated.

He looked at her as if he were just realizing that she was there. "Um, yeah, I am. JJ, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?" They were sitting in the family room watching the boys. He watched as she struggled with a response.

"I don't want to fight with you." She said softly, looking at the boys.

"JJ I don't want to fight either. Please, just two minutes." He pleaded. He didn't know if two minutes would be enough time to say everything he needed to say to her but it was a start.

She stood up from the couch. "Hey boys, I'm going to go into the kitchen with Hotch for a minute. I'll be right back, okay?" She smiled as they acknowledged they heard her then turned and walked into the room with Hotch following her closely. She turned around to face him.

"JJ, I am so sorry. I hate fighting with you." He began. "I hate that you're mad at me. I hate that I was an ass." Because only an asshole would even think about separating the family he just observed.

"No." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, if moving to New York is what you want to make you happy than I'll support that." She gave a little sob, heartbroken by the prospect. "But you have to promise me that you won't keep Jack from me. As long as he wants to see me you have to promise you'll let him."

His eyes were misting as she became emotional. "JJ.."

"I realized today that I was being selfish, I was only thinking of myself and how I felt about you moving when I should have been there for you; you're my friend. I love you. I do want you to be happy."

His breath caught at her easy admission and he took a step closer to where she stood, wedged in the corner of the countertops. "JJ.."

She was crying by this point. "I'm never going to be happy about the fact that you're leaving because I'm going to miss you so much that I can't stand even thinking about it. But you can't help that you don't feel the same way I do. I'm sorry. I think I wanted to punish you for the fact that you don't. I'm sorry that I wasted so much of the time you have left here fighting with you and being angry."

"JJ.." He moved so he was standing directly in front of her.

She blinked up at him through her tears. "I'm so sorry."

He was beyond mere words, he stepped into her space effectively caging her and bent down and captured her mouth hungrily. Her hands slapped at his chest before her fingers curled into his shirt and gathered him to her.

**Thanks for reading! A big thank you to those of you that review, favor or follow – I really appreciate the interest and support. **


	5. Chapter 5

**New York or Bust Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer – Not mine…**

**A/N – I keep waiting for this to play out on the show. One day it's just going to be too much and their eyes are going to meet and BAM. A girl can always hope…**

_Friday evening…_

"Hey Dad is everything okay?" Hotch was tucking Jack into bed when his son asked the question.

Leaning down Hotch kissed his son's forehead. "Sure buddy."

Jack looked up at him knowingly. "You look really sad, Dad, did you and JJ fight again? I thought you were making up in the kitchen."

Hotch sighed heavily at the memory of exactly what occurred in JJ's kitchen. "Your dad is a lunkhead, Jack. I should have listened to you and just sent JJ flowers." He ruffled Jack's hair the way JJ had earlier in the night.

"We're still not moving to New York, right?" Jack questioned hesitantly, worried that his dad didn't really answer his question.

Hotch smiled slightly. "No, and I promise I will never do anything like that again without talking to you first. Okay, pal?" Hotch got to his feet slowly and turned to leave the room.

"Dad?"

Hotch turned back to his son. "Yeah, pal?"

"You know, if you want a girlfriend to live with you why don't just live with JJ?" He asked innocently then added with a sigh. "I love JJ, dad."

Hotch chuckled softly, even his young son was smarter than he was. "I know you do, Jack."

"You love JJ too, don't you dad?"

Hotch smiled at his anxious expression. "Yeah, buddy I do. But right now I have to give JJ some space. I really messed up this time."

"It'll be okay, daddy. JJ loves you too, I know she does." He yawned tiredly.

Hotch watched as Jack rolled on to his side and closed his eyes. He watched him sleep for a minute then turned out his bedroom light before leaving the room. He went right to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a stiff drink. He took a sip before setting it to the side unsatisfied. He didn't want a drink. He wanted JJ.

He scrubbed a hand over his face and recalled the scene in her kitchen. He was going to hell.

Hotch realized that he screwed up big time the moment he put his mouth on her. He should have started with an apology. He should have told her that he cared about her. Deeply. He'd buried his feelings for her so deep that he'd gotten used to ignoring them and denying them. He couldn't do that any longer. He didn't want to do that any longer.

The second he bent down and tasted her he'd been powerless to stop. Once his mouth touched hers a fire ignited and they were all over each other. He fucked her standing in her kitchen with their children mere feet away from them. He'd been stupid and careless and he most likely ruined any chance that he ever had with her.

_Monday…_

He spent the entire weekend reliving the scene and wishing he'd handled it better. He would never forget the look in her eyes when she told him that he should probably leave.

What could he have said at that point? Would she have believed him telling her that he loved her? He sincerely doubted it. Still, it didn't stop him from trying to call her multiple times during the weekend. It didn't stop him from driving by her home.

He had watched as she came in the office on Monday careful not to cross paths with him. He had only wanted to soothe her, she'd been upset and he was the cause. He'd wanted to make love to her, slowly, carefully, adoringly, not like some damn horny teen, but he just snapped, she had been so soft and pliant and responsive, and so unbelievably hot. Now he couldn't look at her, let alone think about her, without getting hard and she was back to not looking at him period.

The knock on his door after the miserable Monday morning meeting took him by surprise, especially when he looked up and saw her hovering around his door.

"JJ!" He stood up, regardless of the physical reaction just seeing her caused.

Her cheeks were flushed. "I'm sorry for just busting in." Her voice sounded gruff and he realized that it was probably due to crying and cursed himself again.

"JJ." He walked stiffly towards her. "I tried to contact you all weekend long. We need to talk. There is so much I need to say to you."

She shook her head, still focused on the floor. "You don't have to say anything, Hotch. I'm so sorry for my behavior…"

He quickly guided her into his office and closed the door behind her. The blinds were already closed. "Your behavior? Fuck that, I don't want an apology. I'm not sorry that it happened." He wanted to bury himself to the hilt in her again and watch her break apart all over him. "I'm sorry that we didn't talk before we…"

"Mated like animals." She said humiliated.

He lifted her chin making her look at him. "I was going to say gave in to our mutual desire."

JJ snorted. "Right, now it's mutual? Isn't that convenient?" She said disbelievingly then she gasped as he pulled her to him and she felt his arousal, as well as saw it reflected in his eyes. "Hotch?"

His hands cupped her cheeks. "All weekend long, JJ, I've been fucking hard all weekend long, thinking of you, wanting you." He growled, as his mouth nipped at hers, teasing and tempting, before she finally surrendered and opened up to him. He kissed her with as much abandon as he had the previous evening, his hand molding her body tightly against his. Then her hand cupped him through his slacks and he moaned. His hand slid down her backside then up her skirt between her legs. He found her warm and wet. Before either one of them regained sanity she was moving against him and all of his good intentions shot out the door. "JJ?"

"Oh God, hurry Aaron." She was already unzipping and releasing him and then she was against the door and he was plunging into her heat. His mouth made a trail up her neck to her mouth as his hands palmed her ass driving into her. She made urgent little sounds as she thrust against him, her body milked his.

He'd never been so turned on in his life. She made him lose complete control once again. His head rested in the crook of her neck. He gave a mirthless chuckle. "I'd really like to try this in a bed next time." He told her as her legs dropped back to the floor. His hands were caressing her body, soothing her as their bodies settled.

"God, I just keep making this worse." She dropped her head on his shoulder. "I need to stay away from you."

"What? NO." He wasn't sure he couldn't handle her being out of his sight again. His hands cupped her face once again. "JJ this is not worse." He pressed a kiss against her mouth urgently. "This is better, this is a beginning." He looked at her hesitantly. "If you want it to be. Please want it to be." His heart froze as a tear rolled down her face.

"I don't understand." Her blue eyes swum behind her tears.

"Then talk to me, please, listen to me. Let me help you understand." He pleaded with her. "I..

The knock on the door startled them both. "Hey Hotch." Morgan yelled through the door. "You have a visitor in the lobby."

He frowned at the intrusion. "I'm not expecting anyone. Send them away and tell them to make a fucking appointment." He growled, angry at the interruption.

"Uh, Hotch," Morgan stated hesitantly, "It's, uh, Beth."

Hotch watched as JJ shut down in front of his eyes. "I don't give a fuck who it is." He bellowed as panic set in.

"You should probably see her. If she came all this way it's probably important." JJ said as she dropped her eyes and stepped away from him to straighten her skirt.

"No, damn it, this is important. You are important." He told her, following her, quickly straightening his clothing as well. "If she wants to see me she can wait."

"Please don't make this harder than it has to be." She attempted a weak smile and failed miserably. "I need to get back to my desk."

"No, please JJ." His hands stayed at her waist holding her steady.

"Hotch." Her voice broke.

Hotch held tight. "No. I keep screwing this up. I should have talked to you before I ever put my hands on you. But I turn into a damn randy fool around you." His hands flexed gently. "Whatever you are thinking I promise you, it's wrong."

JJ placed her hands over his and attempted another smile. "It's alright, Hotch, I won't say anything…"

"Aaron?" It was now Rossi knocking on the door. "Is everything okay?"

Hotch gritted his teeth. "NO. People keep bothering me. I'm busy, hence the closed fucking door." He yelled. "I don't want you to leave." He said plainly to JJ.

Rossi could be heard chuckling. "Are you aware you have a visitor?"

"Yes and if she wants to wait I'll get to her when I'm done." Hotch reiterated.

"You're being ridiculous. Don't keep your girlfriend waiting." JJ snapped, tears welling in her eyes.

Hotch bent down so he was at eye level with her. "JJ, I don't have a girlfriend. I am very recently out of a relationship that was doomed to failure because I've always wanted this beautiful blonde in my office. I was just too stupid to admit it. Always." He placed a hard kiss on her lips. "I fought it and hid it and denied so long that I started to believe it didn't exist. I told myself it was only friendship but we both know it runs a lot deeper than that."

"Does Garcia know that you have the hots for her?" She asked with a slight sob.

Hotch snickered and placed a soft tender kiss against her lips. "I should have made sure that you knew that before anything happened the other day. I'm sorry. I'm a jerk. I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you, but then you were so upset and sad and then. Well you know." He grinned sheepishly at her. "We're kind of combustible." His hand caressed her hip.

"You shouldn't make decisions based on a quickie we had in my kitchen and now here. I was the one that told you a relationship cannot be sustained based on how good the sex is." She told him sadly.

Hotch sighed, he could swear he felt her drifting away from him. "JJ, I called Beth and ended things with her after I spoke to you last week in my office. I talked to Will and he pointed out a few things to me."

She lifted her eyes up to his. "Will?"

Hotch shrugged. "I called him to apologize."

"Honestly? I would have never repeated what you said to him." JJ pointed out rigidly, miffed that he'd had the audacity to call her former spouse and to apparently take advice on her from him.

"I know." Of course he knew that. "I just, you wouldn't listen to me. You wouldn't let me apologize. I was a jerk, and I said it because I wanted to lash out at you, for like half a second, then I felt miserable and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to fix it."

She looked at him puzzled. "So you called my ex-husband?"

"I needed to apologize to someone." He mumbled. "He's also your friend and he understands you, I needed to know what to do."

Confusion was evident on her face. "So Will told you to break things off with Beth?"

"Yes. No, that's not exactly..."

JJ huffed, "Which is it Aaron?"

"Will told me to fix my relationship with you. More importantly he told me that moving in with another woman wasn't going to make my feelings for you go away."

JJ bit her lower lip. "So now you have feelings for me? Funny where were those feelings when you were jetting off to New York to sleep with Beth?"

"I just told you, JJ, they've always been there but there has always been something that prevented me from acting on them, I was married, then you were married, then I just convinced myself they didn't exist." He pressed a kiss against her lips.

"Aaron?" They both groaned when the voice of the woman JJ just mentioned sounded through the door. "I really do need to see you."

"I am going to fire everyone involved with delivering her to my office. Did I not clearly state for them to leave her in the lobby?" He hissed, but louder he said. "I'm busy, Beth. I told my team that I was currently unavailable, you'll have to wait."

JJ sighed. "She probably wants an opportunity to tell you what a douche you are for dumping her over the phone." She looked up at him and whispered. "You should probably see her."

Hotch moved them away from the office door. "I'm afraid to open the door." He admitted. "If I open the door, you'll walk out of it and I'm afraid you won't come back. That night," They both understood which night he was referring to, "when you asked me if anything was wrong I was so mesmerized by what I had staring right at me that I was too blind to see. What I almost let slip away. We're a family, JJ." He told her in awe. "Well, not me so much, but you and the boys are like one little unit of love. I almost ruined that. More importantly I realize I want to be part of that."

His voice cracked with emotion and JJ reached up and stroked his cheek wanting to soothe him. "I'm not going anywhere." She lifted to her toes and pressed her mouth to his, licking at the seam, then taking the kiss deeper when he opened up to her. They were fitted tightly to one another when the door cracked opened.

"I really don't appreciate waiting." Beth stood at the entrance to his office viewing them both with open hostility. "What the hell is going on in here?"

"Why are you here, Beth?" Hotch asked with a heavy sigh still clinging to JJ.

"I needed to see you." She looked from Hotch to JJ. "I didn't understand how things could have deteriorated so quickly. I finally got you to agree to move to New York and before you could even pack your bags you were _calling_ me to inform me that you were not only not moving but that you felt that we should end our relationship. You neglected to tell me that you had already moved on." Her bottom lip trembled slightly with emotion.

"I'll just…" JJ eyed the door.

"You don't…" Hotch began, but she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and she walked away.

"How long has that been going on?" Beth asked when JJ moved past her.

Hotch sighed and turned to face the woman that he'd been so sure he was ready to move on with. "Nothing happened with JJ until after I broke it off with you."

Beth stared at him for a long minute then she too sighed. "It appears to have gotten serious pretty damn fast then."

Hotch gave a slight smile. "I guess I should say nothing physical happened, there has always been a connection."

Beth nodded then went and sunk down in one of the chairs facing his desk. "I know." She said wryly. "Why do you think I was so hell bent on getting you to move to New York? I was pretty sure if I could remove the obstruction you could fully commit."

His surprise must have shown on his face.

"Aaron, I knew that you had feelings for JJ, I wasn't quite sure the extent or exactly how they ran, whether just friendly or passionate, but I knew they were there." She shrugged. "I also knew that you would never act on them when you were involved with another woman. You set such a strict moral compass for yourself."

"I never intended to hurt you, Beth." But man was he glad he realized his mistake before he actually moved.

She gave a small smile. "Oh Aaron, we probably should have ended our relationship when I moved to New York. We just prolonged the inevitable." Again his surprise must have shown. "But hey, the sex was really good, right?"

"I've been told by several reliable sources that good sex isn't enough to keep a relationship going." He told her.

"Yeah," She smiled, "But it sure is fun while it lasts."

He moved to his office chair and sat. "Why did you come down here now? You never made the effort before."

She nodded. "You're right, and I should have. I was selfish. I don't know," She told him in answer to his question. "For some reason I decided I needed to come now. As I traveled I told myself that I was going to fight for you. That I loved you and what we had was real. I was going to move back to DC." She paused and smiled at his dumbfounded expression. "I told myself a lot of lies. I care for you Aaron. I think you are probably one of the best guys I've ever dated, but if we'd really been in love we wouldn't have settled for occasional weekends, we would have both tried harder. And while it stings that you have so clearly already moved on, like I said, I knew that there was always a little flicker of something between you and JJ."

He dropped his hands into his head. "If I didn't manage to screw it up already with my stupidity."

"I hardly think she'd have sex with you in your office if she didn't have pretty strong feelings for you." She giggled when his face went bright red. "Your fly was down, you're both disheveled, and the room smells like sex."

"Oh God." He groaned.

"That was another nail in my coffin, if _you_ would go so far as to fraternize with your subordinate in your office in the middle of the day you must have pretty strong feelings for that person."

"I can be spontaneous." He told her, thinking she was calling him staid or boring.

Beth laughed. "I know, but JJ obviously causes you to lose control. That's not a bad thing for you, Aaron. You have a tendency to overthink things." She grinned at him and covered his hand with hers. "Good luck." She said sincerely. "I wish you the best."

He turned his hand and grasped hers and squeezed. "Thank you. And thank you for being so decent about this whole thing."

She stood with a smile. "With age comes maturity. Ten, who am I kidding, five years ago you would have definitely been treated to some hysterics."

He chuckled. "Take care of yourself, Beth."

The team watched as he escorted her out of the office. He returned to the bullpen anxiously looking for the blonde currently missing from her cube. "Where is JJ?"

Prentiss frowned. "She said you told her to take the rest of the day."

All he could focus on was the fact that she was gone. "Shit." He raced back to his office.

"He wasn't wearing his coat." Morgan pointed out. "And his clothes had the same wrinkled appearance that JJ was sporting. They weren't wrinkled in the staff meeting."

"I had no idea you paid such close attention to our grooming habits." Emily commented, straightening her sweater.

Garcia giggled. "He's trying to imply they knocked boots in Hotch's office. Either that or they wrestled."

They all quieted as Hotch was running back down, this time wearing his jacket and holding his keys. "Where are you going?" Rossi asked.

"To clear some stuff up." He looked at Morgan. "You're in charge. Don't bother me unless it's urgent."

Morgan saluted him. "Yes Sir."

Hotch stopped at the door. "I think it should be obvious but in case it's not, I'm not going to be transferring to MPU." The whoops and cheers he heard behind him encouraged him as he hurried out of the office.

**Thanks for reading! As always, thanks for the feedback. I love to know what you think! Thanks for the favorites and follows as well, they make my little fangirl heart happy!**


	6. Chapter 6

**New York or Bust Chapter Six **

**Disclaimer: Not Mine.**

**A/N – I didn't have my beta check this chapter so any mistakes are all mine…**

He tossed his phone on the seat beside him. She wasn't answering her damn phone. His mind replayed every word that they said in his office. She told him she wasn't going anywhere. Then she disappeared. "Fuck." He hit the steering wheel as he came to yet another red light. Luck was obviously not on his side, he thought angrily, as he managed to hit seemingly every single one from the base to JJ's home. If she even went home. She could be anywhere. She could have packed Henry up and driven to her mom's in PA, or worse, flew off somewhere. He wondered in panic if Garcia would even help him track her if needed.

His mind was working overtime thinking of all the scenarios possible. He was imagining her in a bikini on an island in Hawaii attracting the attention of every male within a hundred yard radius when he turned and saw her car in her driveway. Letting out a shaky breath he pulled in behind her. "Don't screw this up, Aaron." He mumbled to himself as he stepped out of the car.

He made his way up the walk and spotted an envelope taped to the door. "SSA Aaron Hotchner" was written in bold letters across it. He could feel his heart pounding; she was going to tell him to fuck off in a letter; worse she'd written up her resignation. He stared at the envelope for what felt like an eternity before he finally mustered up the courage to open it. The key dropped out from between a wad of blank papers. He frowned and bent to pick it up. He slid it in the front door and it unlocked smoothly. He stepped inside the house locking both the door and deadbolt behind him instinctively.

He looked at the dim interior in confusion. "JJ?" He called her name softly. He walked through the downstairs and into the kitchen. His libido kicked up a little when he stepped into the room and images of her with her head thrown back in ecstasy invaded his mind. Shaking his head to clear it he moved back through the house and started up the stairs, heart pounding.

He'd been in her house many times so he was familiar with the layout. He passed Henry's room. It was clean, the bed was neatly made, and there were a handful of toys on the floor. Directly across from it was another room that JJ used either as a guest room or office when she worked from home. It too looked undisturbed. He blew out a breath and moved down the hall to the master bedroom.

The door was partially closed. He pushed it open noiselessly, silently praying that he wasn't going to find her throwing clothes haplessly into a suitcase. She wasn't, she was just coming from the master bath.

"I wasn't sure how long you would be." She told him softly, ensconced in only a towel, her body still dewy from either a shower or bath.

"You knew I would follow you?" He asked hoarsely as he stared at her.

She smiled at him coyly. "Oh I was counting on it." She told him as she stepped forward and let the towel drop.

"I thought…" His mind went blank as she came nearer.

"What did you think?" Her voice was sultry as she reached up and slid his suit jacket from his shoulders. She sat the garment on the room's lone chair. "Were you worried that I would go into hiding again?" Like she had done Friday when she'd been so stunned by what they'd done that she retreated.

"I thought…" mother of God, he couldn't form a thought with her standing naked in front of him.

She'd returned and quickly relieved him of his tie and was currently dealing with the buttons on his tailored shirt. "I told you I wasn't going anywhere." She placed an open mouthed kiss on a patch of skin she'd just exposed.

"Then you left!" He complained.

She dropped his cuff links on the floor then slid the shirt off of his shoulders. "I had every confidence that you'd find me." Her hands reached for his belt. "And look, here you are."

"Don't you think we should talk?" He asked, as his pants fell to his ankles.

"Talking really wasn't what I had in mind right now." Her hands slid under his tee shirt and lifted the shirt over his head. "Oh, Aaron." She let out a soft cry when she'd seen the damage that Foyet had inflicted upon him.

He reached for her hands as she gently caressed each scar.

"Do you realize how lucky you are to be here?" She asked him softly as she pressed a kiss over his heart.

"You're naked and have been undressing me. I am well aware how lucky I am." He told her sardonically.

She chuckled as she glided down his body and untied his shoes, removing them from his feet then pulling off his socks. She gathered up his pants and shook them out before laying them gently beside his jacket and returning to stand in front of him. "You're about to get luckier. You still want to talk?" She asked as she hooked a finger in his boxer shorts. "After all, you were the one that suggested we try this in a bed." His boxers hit the floor.

JJ squealed as his restraint broke and he lifted her to him, striding determinedly over to the bed. He tossed her lightly on the bed and quickly followed her down. He kissed her fervently then set about to touch and taste every inch of her body.

She grinned at him as he was making his way back up her body. "I think you might have missed a spot." She offered helpfully, slightly out of breath.

"Really? I don't know how that's possible. Why don't you point it out and I'll give it my full attention." He leaned in and nipped at her mouth.

She followed him when he would have retreated and deepened the kiss, maneuvering him on to his back. "Why don't I show you on your body?" She'd barely begun licking and kissing her way down his body when he groaned and pulled her back up to him.

"JJ, sweetheart, if you follow the path you're heading I'm not going to last."

"We've got all day." She pouted. "I want to reciprocate."

His answer was to roll her over and position himself between her legs. "How about you wrap those long legs around my hips and we'll call it even?" He groaned as he slid into her hot core.

"Are you sure you can do this horizontal? So far I've only been treated to your vertical prowess." She teased then gasped as he tilted her hips and slammed deeper into her. She moaned as he pulled out and repeated the move. This wasn't the furious, needy coupling the ones in her kitchen and his office had been. "God, I love you." She cried as he made her dissolve into a thousand pieces and drove her up the precipice twice again before he gave in and shattered, collapsing on top her, whispering her name.

Later they lay spent in one another's arms tangled together. JJ sprawled on top of Hotch, lulled by the hum of his steady heartbeat. "I kind of feel like I should move, but I'm afraid my legs don't work."

Hotch's hand was making lazy pattern's on her back. "We can move later." He kissed her brow. "JJ, we still need to talk."

"I know." She said quietly, burrowing further into his chest.

"Hey, why are you afraid to talk to me all of a sudden?" He asked her somewhat nervous.

JJ confessed quietly. "Aaron, I know that this didn't mean the same thing to you as it did to me, and I don't want to spoil it by having to talk about it."

He frowned at her words. "What do you think this meant to me, JJ? Did you even listen to what I was saying in my office? I know that I've been a blind ass where you're concerned but believe me my eyes are wide open now."

She smiled sadly. "I just," She began, faltered then plowed on honestly, "I know that you don't feel the same way about me that I do about you. And that's okay. I understand."

He worried that even after spending the morning making love to her she still didn't understand him and he was in serious danger of making a huge misstep once again. "JJ, I've been a damn fool, I was stupid and callous and I almost made a colossal mistake. I _would_ have been miserable in New York. I _would_ have hated my job. My boy would probably grow up hating me, and we would both be despondent over the loss of you. I figure it is far too soon for me to be pulling the love card because you probably wouldn't believe me. I thought I would be able to convey how I felt about you with my hands, mouth, and body. But I must have failed if you don't think this meant as much to me as it did to you." He lifted her chin and waited until she looked him in the eyes. "I want to tell you that I love you and have you know that I mean it."

Her eyes welled up. "I don't need you to profess your undying love for me to make me feel better…"

His lips pressed hers stopping her words. "JJ I know I don't deserve you." He said, quietly. "I don't know why you let me in to your bed, let alone your heart, but I know that I need you, and I have every intention of keeping you." He wiped a tear that spilled over. "I do love you. Maybe you don't believe me right now but I promise you, you will." He kissed her softly. "I'll prove it to you. Every day."

JJ gave a happy little sob and pressed her mouth to his once more. "Throw in every night and you've got yourself a deal."

_Day Thirty…._

"So, how'd Strauss take the news that you were staying?" JJ asked when he arrived at her home that evening.

Hotch shrugged as he slipped his suit jacket off. "Actually pretty good, she said she never understood my desire to leave in the first place." He grinned as he looked over at her. "She did have an interesting piece of advice though." Advise that he couldn't wait to share it with her.

JJ rolled her eyes. "I can only imagine." She frowned as he grinned cockily as he came over to where she stood. "Well, what was it?" She questioned irritably as he moved to pull her into his arms.

"She suggested that we leave our romance out of the office." He grinned as her eyes grew wide.

"What does that mean? What does she know?" She asked impatiently.

Hotch chuckled. "It means we weren't the only ones in the office when you surprised me there the other night." JJ finally got her opportunity to reciprocate and he thanked her profusely to which she responded very vocally.

"What did she say? Are we in trouble? Did I get you fired? Oh God Aaron."

He shut her up the only effective way he knew, he kissed her. They ended up back in the corner where he first made love to her.

"Stop looking at me like that." She hissed, as she slapped her hand against his chest. "That's what gets us in trouble. Are you going to tell me what she said?"

He sighed and did as she directed. "She said, 'I couldn't help but overhear that you and Agent Jareau have worked out your differences." He kissed her nose. "To which I said, Ma'am?" The cocky grin was back in place. "To which she said Agent Jareau is very vocal. To which I said, _yes Ma'am_." He laughed when she swatted him. "Then she said, see that it doesn't happen during working hours." He tapped her chin to close her mouth. "Then she said, Congratulations Agent Hotchner, I hope that you make one another very happy." He pressed his body into hers and sighed contentedly. "To which I said, yes Ma'am."

She giggled as he reached for the string on her sleep pants. "What are you doing?"

He grinned at her as he tugged and untied the string. "I took that as a directive." He winked at her. "I'm going to make you happy. I figure if I wear you out at home you'll keep your hands off me in the office."

JJ narrowed her eyes. "You're a funny guy. I don't recall any reluctance on your part to my hands being on you in the office."

"Oh no, I was an active and willing participant." Hotch agreed as his mouth began a gentle assault on her neck. "Eager even."

"You're always eager." JJ snorted as her hand hung on to her pants. "We are not doing this in the kitchen." She advised him. "Just because we didn't get caught last time…"

The words barely left her mouth when two small boys came barreling through the door. "JJ is my dad…oh, hey dad." Jack said, looking up to see his dad with his arms around JJ. "Me and Henry was talking…"

"Henry and I were talking." His father corrected as JJ retied the sting on her pajama pants.

Jack gave him a puzzled look. "What?"

"I was; you know what, never mind. You and Henry were talking." Hotch prompted.

"Oh right." His son grinned. "So JJ's house isn't that big and our house isn't that big but if we put them together…"

"We'd have one big house!" Henry finished for him.

JJ laughed at the expression on Hotch's face.

"And then my stuff and Henry's stuff would all be in the same place and we wouldn't have to go back and forth all the time." Jack explained. When his dad still hadn't commented he added helpfully. "You wanted to live with a girl."

Hotch groaned as he looked at JJ.

"Yeah, you wanted to live with a girl." She repeated poking his chest with her finger. "I've got all the right parts."

"I'm well aware of that." He looked over at the two expectant faces. "You know we can't really move our two houses together. There are two houses on either side of both of our houses so we couldn't just smush them together." He made a motion with his hands.

Jack laughed. "I know that silly. We need a new house."

"With a big yard to play in." Henry added.

Hotch studied them for a long moment then asked. "Did you want it to be a certain color?"

"Daaaaad." Jack whined. "We're being serious."

Hotch grinned. "So am I, son. The way I see it we need at least four bedrooms, a big back yard, a two car garage." He tapped his chin as if in deep thought. "I'd also like an office so I could work from the house when possible," he looked at JJ, "Do you have any requests? Big kitchen, garden tub?" He leered at her mischievously. "Yeah we definitely want a big tub and walk in shower."

JJ shook her head at him. "Do you really think you should be teasing the boys?"

He gave her a look that set her heart racing. "Who's teasing? I called Dave's real estate agent this morning." He leaned in and placed a kiss against her lips. "I don't want to live with just any girl – I want to live with you. I can't keep the promise I made you if I'm not around." Hotch watched as she processed his comment he waited patiently for her response.

"We should probably have a deck or patio for sitting out on in warm weather, and I'd like the yard to be established so there's a tree big enough to build a tree house for the boys." She winked at him. "I have a feeling you'd look pretty good with a tool belt strapped to your waist." She giggled when he appeared surprised by her response. "Did you seriously didn't think I wouldn't go for this?"

He shrugged sheepishly. "I wasn't sure if it would be too soon for you."

JJ looked over at the boys who were intently following their conversation and smiled. "We've all just been waiting on you."

The End.

**Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed. Thank you to everyone who kindly left feedback, favorited, or followed. I really appreciate the support and encouragement.**


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